There are two things that have truly allowed me to look past my circumstances that I’m going through right now and hold on to any sense of hope right now. One is our little puppy Zoe. I know I sound like a crazy cat lady, but it’s amazing what an animal can do for your life. It’s a little ball of therapy every time she comes to lay on my lap on her back just wanting to be cuddled and have her tummy scratched. She just needs to be touching you. Just your toe. (She’s a lot like my husband in that way. It’s made me be more receptive to his love language.)
The other is having deep, meaningful conversations with friends that will ask me challenging questions and help me with the challenging questions that I bring to the table. I got together with two of my best friends this past weekend. We see each other about once a month. There’s so much laughter, great food, honesty, and good girl time that none of us ever get.
We don’t have to put on a front with each other. There’s no “trying to out-do” the other with our fashion sense or casserole dishes or home decorations. We really have developed the “come as you are” friendship. I hope everyone has this type of person in their life – whether it be one person or twenty. We’ve realized that we need to be intentional with our friendship, because we all live 30-45 minutes away from each other (depending on traffic in the DC/Baltimore area), so we can’t just go over to each other’s homes after a bad day at work. This week we talked about friendships and how we need women in our lives that are godly and able to steer us back on track when things get tough.
One of the girls told us that even her husband tells her that she’s a better wife when she gets her girl time in! And it’s so true. We’ve all heard it – our husbands cannot be our girlfriends. They absolutely cannot! And I don’t think I realized that until all of my girlfriends lived too far away and all I had was my husband to talk with. I’d become emotional and upset, because he didn’t understand where I was coming from and I was looking for a totally different response from him than what he gave me. This was the reality of the first 6-8 months of our marriage. Tough lessons to learn. A lot of blowing up, being angry for no reason, and just a general bad undertone hanging around in our marriage. Not that it was all bad. There were amazing parts! But, when I learned I needed my girlfriends, girls nights, and time to just talk with them, life became a little different. Kevin and I grew closer and so did God and I. It’s funny how that happened.
And I’m scared now. Within the next year to year and a half, we might all be separated. They both talked about moving to two completely different parts of the country, because of their husbands’ jobs, and I’ll be here. I’m afraid of being lonely again. I’m afraid of not having meaningful relationships outside of mine and Kevin’s. I’m afraid I’ll have to start over. That’s the hardest part – saying goodbye and starting fresh. But I know that whatever happens, God already knew it would come. He graciously gave me these ladies in a time of hopelessness and despair. He gives and takes away. I’m aware. I’m trusting and having faith that His plan is perfect for these women, their marriages, and myself. I’m trusting that all three of us were placed in this area at the same time for a specific reason. He’s gearing us up for something bigger and better than we could ever imagine. I don’t know if I’ll ever fully be ready, but I know I’m going to do what He wants me to do. I know that the courage and bravery for Christ that each of us has gained from one another will help us when He scatters us.
In our new towns one day, we’ll have new friendships. We’ll have to start over. But I know we’ll have good meals, lots of laughter, God-encouraging talks, and great girl time. I’ll never quite be ready for these two precious ladies to leave my side, but I know they’re equipped to do God’s will where He’s taking them. And so am I.